Updated: 25th September 2017

This Dog Found An Enormous Dildo On His Walk And Grew Extremely Attached To It

Once upon a time, there was a chocolate Labrador named Galaxy. Galaxy was on a walk with his dog walkers when he came across a wonderful prize: a dildo as big as an otter.

Galaxythen proceeded to cheerfully carry the dildo around in his mouth for half an hour.

The dog walkers whose names are Amy and Natalie thought this state of affairs was so hysterical, they brought the dildo back to Galaxy’s home, in order to show his humanoid owner (slash personal janitor), Ami.

Here is how I imagine that conversation played out:

Amy: Hey, we took your dog for a walk, and he carried around this possibly used dildo in his mouth.

Natalie: It was the best motherfucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and one time, I saw a baby deer reunite with his mother.

Apparently,Galaxy’sowner thought it was also hilarious, and not as some would think very gross that her friends let her dog put a dildo from the ground in his mouth.

At least there’s someconsolation: This is like the biggest dildo in the world. You’d have to have just given birth in order to actually use this dildo. It’s basically the size of a garden gnome.

(By the way, don’t get any ideas: I’ve already submitted dildo gnomes to the patent office.)

Ami threw the dildo away. But her husband fished it out of the trash and used it as a trophe in a golf tournament with friends.

Here is how I imagine THAT conversation played out:

Ami’s husband: Yo, my dog found this dildo. Let’s use it as the trophe for our golf tournament.

Ami’s husband’s friend: I’ll get my gold paint. I keep it in the garage, behind my “fuck it” attitude.

By the way, a quick search on Twitter reveals that the friendship between dogs and dildos is one for the ages:

The lesson here is this: Humans and dogs love big dildos equally.

Subscribe to Elite Daily’s official newsletter, The Edge, for more stories you don’t want to miss.

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/humor/dog-attached-to-giant-dildo/1578300/

COMMENTS